Every year ladies who channel Martha (as in Stewart, as in annoyingly creative with ribbon and fine linen) get that wild eye look right after Thanksgiving. They know that once the turkey is history and the pumpkin pie has settled on their hips and thighs, it’s time to Deck the Halls with all manner of holiday fancy. These gals of the gift wrap get all shades of excited with a strategically placed snowman or welcoming Santa. The blinking lights, the sparkling garland, and let’s not even touch those glass balls.
Before you peg me a Scrooge, let’s remember that Christmas is about Christ. I can take a few of the annoying accoutrements that come with the season, but I draw the line at taking Christ out of Christmas and substituting Winter Wonderland scenes as the main attraction.
So it was with great trepidation that I faced the whirlwind of what is the Office Holiday Decorating Team. Armed with shiny fabric and wire ribbons and enough hanging balls to rival a NFL locker room, these Divas of Decor unleash a torrent of holiday tchotkes in and around my work area. It’s like the Home Department of a Ross Store exploded in our lobby.
Someone puts on a Christmas CD to set the mood. When Dean Martin starts singing, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” I think, “In Hawaii? Yeah right Dino, when pigs fly!”
The Christmas tree is adorned with tasteful and elegant ribbons and color coordinated ornaments. (The handmade ornaments staff created over the years have mysteriously disappeared.) The simple red felt tree skirt has been replaced with a gold crushed velvet wrap. There is ominous talk of placing a large Santa right outside my CUBE. “Target practice!” I muse in my retaliation scenario. And I swear if those lights strung on my CUBE walls start blinking, I will have a seizure and die.
One of the ladies microwaves a gingerbread cookie and the smell wafts into the lobby. The Decorating Team stops, sniffs the air, and sighs – so deeply satisfied by the complete holiday sensory experience.
So for the next few weeks I am surrounded by glitter, tiny glowing lights, fake snow, and an abundance of holiday swag. I think I can probably handle this, but if someone pops their head in my CUBE one more time and says, “Ho! Ho! Ho!” my retort will be, “Who you calling a ho?” Tis the season, after all.
