Life can be a little confusing once you're past the half-century mark. At 50-something, I'm no longer "middle-aged" unless I plan to live to the ripe old age of 150. I'm too young for senior citizen discounts, but AARP mails membership applications to me every month.
I'm caught in between - like being 11 years old again. A tween, but with stiff joints, failing eyesight, and thinning hair.
Antioxidants, probiotics, free radicals - it's warfare out there! Low carbs, high fiber, gluten free, and whatever the hell fructose is, makes eating right a daily challenge.
I arm myself with age defying facial creams, hair color that promises full coverage of stubborn grays, and multi-vitamins named silver. Sadly, it's been years since I have been "carded" when ordering wine with dinner. My daughter's classmate even thought I was her grandma at a school meeting.
Ironically, my age has worked against me. Though I lobbied my internist and insurance company, both told me I was too young to get the shingles shot. Excuse me? It only works if you're age 60 and over? I've had shingles since I was in my mid-20s! This much needed medication won't work on me now, but hot diggity dang, in six short years it will kick ass on these nasty break outs.
I recently discovered underwear designed to eliminate muffin tops. I foolishly thought the only way to eliminate unsightly muffin tops was to stop eating muffins. Duh! I was wrong! A wide lace waistband and strategically positioned elastic prove to be the engineering marvel us thick waisted women need. And it was on sale, so I bought a half-dozen. Granny panties are on hold...for now.
