Wow. Today I had to edit the worst run-on sentence I have seen since the sixth grade. It amazes me how some English speaking people have no idea how to construct a proper sentence. People, this is not about cramming as many ideas into one sentence as possible. Periods are our friends. Commas, not so much when used 10 million times in a row.
OK. I feel better now.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
I say NO to AARP, thank you very much
I am offended. OK, maybe just miffed, but what the hell, it's Friday. I deserve to be offended.
I just got an email from AARP. AAR fracking P! As in the American Association of "Give-me-my-senior-discount-dammit" Retired Persons. Now I may be on the dark side of 45, but I am nowhere near the age of AARP membership eligibility. And I cannot foresee retiring in the near or far future if the economy continues to tank. Granted, the email may have been an error or a SPAM attempt to get me to buy something. But take note! If you want to be on the sunny side of my disposition, do not imply that I am old. Now, let me go and take my nap!!
I just got an email from AARP. AAR fracking P! As in the American Association of "Give-me-my-senior-discount-dammit" Retired Persons. Now I may be on the dark side of 45, but I am nowhere near the age of AARP membership eligibility. And I cannot foresee retiring in the near or far future if the economy continues to tank. Granted, the email may have been an error or a SPAM attempt to get me to buy something. But take note! If you want to be on the sunny side of my disposition, do not imply that I am old. Now, let me go and take my nap!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Sticker shock: When paychecks disappear.
Today is pay day. That used to signal the beginning of unbridled shopping. But here I sit, after scheduling my bill payments online, feeling as empty as my wallet. Gone are the days of $200 shoes, that's for damn sure.
Once the shock wears off, I'm going to print out an invoice for a design job I just completed. That should pay my cell phone bill for a month.
If I actually got paid in real wages for all my work as a mom and domestic engineer, I'd be pulling down some serious Gs. In an ideal world!!
Once the shock wears off, I'm going to print out an invoice for a design job I just completed. That should pay my cell phone bill for a month.
If I actually got paid in real wages for all my work as a mom and domestic engineer, I'd be pulling down some serious Gs. In an ideal world!!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
This kind of sucks, but not in a really bad way
I had to go back to work today. My one week of "vacation" was way too short. I almost cried myself to sleep last night thinking about waking up at 5am, dropping off the kids after praying they will be nice to grandma, and crawling though traffic. After tossing about for half an hour, I took two melatonin tabs and fell asleep in less than 15 minutes.
I started off the day in a crabby mood. My email inbox had 105 new messages. Sometimes being on a listserv is such a bother, especially when replies that should go to the original sender ONLY gets blasted to everyone on the list. Take it offline, people! Did I mention I was crabby?
Most of my day was spent catching up on STUFF! One of my coworkers insisted my business card layout was off and when printed, went beyond the margins. After checking and double checking my specs, I finally discovered she had not selected the correct print settings on the dinky little ink jet printer we all pretend is worth keeping. That was what caused all the ink issues (the green is too light! why is the font not bold enough?) and the runaway margins. I actually ended up writing printing procedures. You know, life would be so much easier if people just thought things through - and did everything to my specifications. Did that sound narcissistic? Then my job here is done.
Our administrative assistant quit two weeks ago, so I have to pick up errant phone calls with the rest of our staff. It is amazing to me how many people do not know the name of their credit union! I work at the Hawaii Credit Union League. The LEAGUE. The TRADE ASSOCIATION for credit unions. I get so many calls from people saying, "I like know the balance of my loan" or "Can you tell me how much money I get in my account?" When I tell them they have called the Hawaii Credit Union LEAGUE and that we are not a CREDIT UNION, it confuses them to no end. Now granted, there are many credit unions in this state with names that start with "Hawaii" but, puleeezh! I know EXACTLY where my money is deposited. I know the phone numbers, the websites, the physical addresses. It scares the crap out of me that some people can walk around in life absolutely CLUELESS! Did I mention I was crabby. More like premenstrual.
I'm going to take a shower now and then collapse on my bed. That is, if I can move kids and cat out of the way. Whose bed is this anyway?
I started off the day in a crabby mood. My email inbox had 105 new messages. Sometimes being on a listserv is such a bother, especially when replies that should go to the original sender ONLY gets blasted to everyone on the list. Take it offline, people! Did I mention I was crabby?
Most of my day was spent catching up on STUFF! One of my coworkers insisted my business card layout was off and when printed, went beyond the margins. After checking and double checking my specs, I finally discovered she had not selected the correct print settings on the dinky little ink jet printer we all pretend is worth keeping. That was what caused all the ink issues (the green is too light! why is the font not bold enough?) and the runaway margins. I actually ended up writing printing procedures. You know, life would be so much easier if people just thought things through - and did everything to my specifications. Did that sound narcissistic? Then my job here is done.
Our administrative assistant quit two weeks ago, so I have to pick up errant phone calls with the rest of our staff. It is amazing to me how many people do not know the name of their credit union! I work at the Hawaii Credit Union League. The LEAGUE. The TRADE ASSOCIATION for credit unions. I get so many calls from people saying, "I like know the balance of my loan" or "Can you tell me how much money I get in my account?" When I tell them they have called the Hawaii Credit Union LEAGUE and that we are not a CREDIT UNION, it confuses them to no end. Now granted, there are many credit unions in this state with names that start with "Hawaii" but, puleeezh! I know EXACTLY where my money is deposited. I know the phone numbers, the websites, the physical addresses. It scares the crap out of me that some people can walk around in life absolutely CLUELESS! Did I mention I was crabby. More like premenstrual.
I'm going to take a shower now and then collapse on my bed. That is, if I can move kids and cat out of the way. Whose bed is this anyway?
Monday, October 13, 2008
My last hurrah
Today is the last day of my so-called vacation! I have been home with the kids for the past week and quite frankly, I could do this for a living. Unfortunately, being Ubermom does not pay the mortgage. I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.
Daddy Bill just made omelets for our breakfast. Alex is now firing up the Eye Toy so we can play motion-activated video Kung Fu, boxing, rocket rumble and so on. It's a good way to work off those calories.
The rest of the day is unscheduled. I just wish I could add more hours to days that I have nothing in particular to do.
Daddy Bill just made omelets for our breakfast. Alex is now firing up the Eye Toy so we can play motion-activated video Kung Fu, boxing, rocket rumble and so on. It's a good way to work off those calories.
The rest of the day is unscheduled. I just wish I could add more hours to days that I have nothing in particular to do.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
My little warrior
Today my eight year old daughter entered her first "real" martial arts tournament. "Real" meaning it was not just an "in house" competition, it was at at community gymnasium and was hosted by a different school and involved other styles of martial arts.
My little tae kwon do warrior entered the Korean style "kata" competition, doing the yuan yo pattern. She was so cute in her martial arts gear, her purple belt signifiying her rank, and her pink High School Musical flip flops, which she dutifully removed f before entering the staging area.
If she was nervous, she did not let it show. When I was her age, I would never have had the guts to enter any kind of contest or tournament that would put all eyes on me for any reason. My girl is such a determined child! When it was her turn, she did what she was supposed to do with a confidence I had not seen before. Maybe her kicks were not as high as the first place winner, but she put her all into her performance. A medal for fourth place is still an honor, even if there were only four competitors in that event. Her effort was first rate in my book.
As we were leaving the gym, I asked her what she thought of the whole thing. With a thumbs up, she plainly stated, "It was fun. Can we go eat at Wendy's now?" That's my girl!
My little tae kwon do warrior entered the Korean style "kata" competition, doing the yuan yo pattern. She was so cute in her martial arts gear, her purple belt signifiying her rank, and her pink High School Musical flip flops, which she dutifully removed f before entering the staging area.
If she was nervous, she did not let it show. When I was her age, I would never have had the guts to enter any kind of contest or tournament that would put all eyes on me for any reason. My girl is such a determined child! When it was her turn, she did what she was supposed to do with a confidence I had not seen before. Maybe her kicks were not as high as the first place winner, but she put her all into her performance. A medal for fourth place is still an honor, even if there were only four competitors in that event. Her effort was first rate in my book.
As we were leaving the gym, I asked her what she thought of the whole thing. With a thumbs up, she plainly stated, "It was fun. Can we go eat at Wendy's now?" That's my girl!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Ubermom's Day-o-Fun!
Ubermom – that multi-tasking woman that I have become – had an entire day to herself. No work. No chores at home. (Well, there were things that needed to be done, but forget that!) And no kids - they were bonding with daddy. It was Ubermom's Day-o-Fun! The possibilities were endless.
I flashed back to my B.C. days (before children) and thought about what I loved to do with a day on my own. One word came to mind...SHOPPING! I remember shopping marathons in my younger days that lasted up to 8 hours. After those mega mall marathons, my sister would always comment on my "shopper's glow" - that undeniable look of pure bliss I would get when successful bargain hunting had occurred.
So on my Day-o-Fun, I donned my Fit Flops, checked my credit card balances (at least I'm practical!) and headed for Ala Moana. What a joy it was to actually cruise through the shopping center - unhurried and unharrased by kids saying "I'm hungry!" or "Can we go to Game Stop?" I went to the stores I wanted to, I had a strawberry smoothie all to myself, ate what I wanted for lunch (sorry, MacDonalds!) and had a fabulous time. I scoured sales racks, tried on overpriced designer shoes, and wondered if lightning would strike if I bought that Dooney & Bourke handbag for only $85 after the 40% discount.
It took me four hours to explore each level of the shopping center - something I can't do on my work-day lunch breaks. There were some cute boutiques (Angry Asian Girl T-shirts! Discounted Harajuku Lovers purses!) The only down side to my Day-o-Fun was wandering into a new and interesting looking store only to find racks and racks of clothes that were sizes 0 and 1. Excuse me, but if you are a full grown woman who wears a size 0, I have two words for you...EAT SOMETHING!! Being more on the Ruebenesque side of the size spectrum, I made a mental note NEVER to enter that store again.
The sun always sets on a good thing and the end of my Day-o-Fun was timed so I would not be stuck in afternoon rush hour traffic. As I pulled into my driveway, my eight- year old Mikaela was at the door, wearing a huge grin and the pajamas she had on when I left in the morning. I didn't want to ask hubby why our daughter had not changed clothes or why the cat was holding a sign declaring "Will work for food." The house was still standing, my kids ate hot dogs and watched discounted movies from Blockbusters, and I was back where I belong. My feet were weary and my credit card balance was elevated, but my kids were excited to see me and the cat was grateful for his kibble. After a Day-o-Fun, Ubermom was ready for the real world again.
I flashed back to my B.C. days (before children) and thought about what I loved to do with a day on my own. One word came to mind...SHOPPING! I remember shopping marathons in my younger days that lasted up to 8 hours. After those mega mall marathons, my sister would always comment on my "shopper's glow" - that undeniable look of pure bliss I would get when successful bargain hunting had occurred.
So on my Day-o-Fun, I donned my Fit Flops, checked my credit card balances (at least I'm practical!) and headed for Ala Moana. What a joy it was to actually cruise through the shopping center - unhurried and unharrased by kids saying "I'm hungry!" or "Can we go to Game Stop?" I went to the stores I wanted to, I had a strawberry smoothie all to myself, ate what I wanted for lunch (sorry, MacDonalds!) and had a fabulous time. I scoured sales racks, tried on overpriced designer shoes, and wondered if lightning would strike if I bought that Dooney & Bourke handbag for only $85 after the 40% discount.
It took me four hours to explore each level of the shopping center - something I can't do on my work-day lunch breaks. There were some cute boutiques (Angry Asian Girl T-shirts! Discounted Harajuku Lovers purses!) The only down side to my Day-o-Fun was wandering into a new and interesting looking store only to find racks and racks of clothes that were sizes 0 and 1. Excuse me, but if you are a full grown woman who wears a size 0, I have two words for you...EAT SOMETHING!! Being more on the Ruebenesque side of the size spectrum, I made a mental note NEVER to enter that store again.
The sun always sets on a good thing and the end of my Day-o-Fun was timed so I would not be stuck in afternoon rush hour traffic. As I pulled into my driveway, my eight- year old Mikaela was at the door, wearing a huge grin and the pajamas she had on when I left in the morning. I didn't want to ask hubby why our daughter had not changed clothes or why the cat was holding a sign declaring "Will work for food." The house was still standing, my kids ate hot dogs and watched discounted movies from Blockbusters, and I was back where I belong. My feet were weary and my credit card balance was elevated, but my kids were excited to see me and the cat was grateful for his kibble. After a Day-o-Fun, Ubermom was ready for the real world again.
School break 101: How to keep your kids happy when school is out. (Without bloodshed)
October 7, 2008
I remember back in my B.C. days (before children) a vacation meant something relaxing. Vacations meant a short jaunt to a neighbor island for some much needed R&R. I remember a couple of vacations that simply involved playing tourist in Waikiki with just me and my spouse.Although I am still allowed to take "vacation" days off from work, the meaning of vacation has changed drastically since I became a card-carrying Ubermom.
This week, I am officially on "vacation" with my kids, who are home for their school Fall Intersession. This translates into a never ending quest to find fun and interesting activities for my 12 year old Alex and 8 year old Mikaela that does not require me to draw on my home equity loan. (That takes away all trips to the Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park, Sea Life Park, and Bishop Museum. Movies barely make the cut. And thank goodness they have outgrown the Children's Discovery Center.)
Yesterday I tried to fit in a service call for my ailing automobile. I enticed the kids with a trip to IHOP for breakfast if they would not complain about having to walk from the repair shop to the mall. Unfortunately, we were 20 minutes too late for the early bird specials, so I ended up paying full price for breakfast, which was unbudgeted. Three hours later, the kids were crabby and my car was still in the shop. By the time we got home, we were all a bit tense.
Once at home, Alex decided it would be fun to play on the Eye Toy - Sony's initial attempt at motion activated gaming. A poor man's Wii. Glad to say, Ubermom still kicks butt in Kung Fu, boxing, and Wishy Washy. Unfortunately, it all went downhill when Mikaela noticed she was always at the bottom of the win list. She burst into tears when her fervent arm flailing failed to score in Rocket Launch.
It's a good thing Monopoly is still a good old stand-by. Mikaela beat the crap out of her high spending Ubermom. (What is a gal to do when landing on prime real estate?? Buy! Buy! Buy!) I ended up with a lot of expensive property and very little in the bank account. Mikaela bought two pieces of land and one house. All it took was for me to land on her property with the house and I ended up more bankrupt than the U.S. economy. The win was good for my 8 year old's self esteem, so it was worth it.
Today will be much simpler. We are going to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua at Regal Theatre - at matinee prices, of course. This was Mikaela's activity choice. Alex is going for the over priced concession stand food. Ubermom is going for the cold air conditioning and dark ambience. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to catch a quick nap before the credits roll!
I remember back in my B.C. days (before children) a vacation meant something relaxing. Vacations meant a short jaunt to a neighbor island for some much needed R&R. I remember a couple of vacations that simply involved playing tourist in Waikiki with just me and my spouse.Although I am still allowed to take "vacation" days off from work, the meaning of vacation has changed drastically since I became a card-carrying Ubermom.
This week, I am officially on "vacation" with my kids, who are home for their school Fall Intersession. This translates into a never ending quest to find fun and interesting activities for my 12 year old Alex and 8 year old Mikaela that does not require me to draw on my home equity loan. (That takes away all trips to the Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park, Sea Life Park, and Bishop Museum. Movies barely make the cut. And thank goodness they have outgrown the Children's Discovery Center.)
Yesterday I tried to fit in a service call for my ailing automobile. I enticed the kids with a trip to IHOP for breakfast if they would not complain about having to walk from the repair shop to the mall. Unfortunately, we were 20 minutes too late for the early bird specials, so I ended up paying full price for breakfast, which was unbudgeted. Three hours later, the kids were crabby and my car was still in the shop. By the time we got home, we were all a bit tense.
Once at home, Alex decided it would be fun to play on the Eye Toy - Sony's initial attempt at motion activated gaming. A poor man's Wii. Glad to say, Ubermom still kicks butt in Kung Fu, boxing, and Wishy Washy. Unfortunately, it all went downhill when Mikaela noticed she was always at the bottom of the win list. She burst into tears when her fervent arm flailing failed to score in Rocket Launch.
It's a good thing Monopoly is still a good old stand-by. Mikaela beat the crap out of her high spending Ubermom. (What is a gal to do when landing on prime real estate?? Buy! Buy! Buy!) I ended up with a lot of expensive property and very little in the bank account. Mikaela bought two pieces of land and one house. All it took was for me to land on her property with the house and I ended up more bankrupt than the U.S. economy. The win was good for my 8 year old's self esteem, so it was worth it.
Today will be much simpler. We are going to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua at Regal Theatre - at matinee prices, of course. This was Mikaela's activity choice. Alex is going for the over priced concession stand food. Ubermom is going for the cold air conditioning and dark ambience. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to catch a quick nap before the credits roll!
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